A Beautiful Déjà Vu

The man said breathe
And so I breathed
And she was next to me
And she breathed too
And suddenly there was only us there
Just the two of us

And then it came to me
We have done this before
Long ago
You and I
When we occupied one space
One body
Shared the same air
You and I

And in that moment
We are connected again
That bond that begins all else
And I feel safe and whole again
And I know, in that moment
From whom I learned how to breathe
I find it too hard to bear
That one day I must do this without you

But for now
I place my stockinged foot on yours
And we share a secret smile
And we will breathe together
Until we must find another way
To connect
Through a different medium
But for now, let us sit and let us breathe


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After



So, How Do You Waste Your Time?

This question was asked of me at my meditation group this week. It made me think about what we consider to be wasted time in our lives, and if, in fact, such a thing exists.

The gentleman leading our meditation on that day had expected quite bland responses I think – such as watching TV, or sleeping in, or things such as those. He did not get what he expected from his question. People thought about their responses far more than he had envisaged or was prepared for. It was an interesting question for sure, and one I gave a lot of thought to as it came toward my turn to answer.

In the end I challenged the premise.Read More »

Just One Month

Give me a rainforest
Give me a boat
Give me some space
A wide-open face
Afloat, afloat

Give me a month
I don’t need a year
Just a light golden thread
A soft place for my head
And a route that’s unclear

Give me a mountain
A beach, a beach
Give me some distance
This insistent insistence
Only just out of reach

Give me a life-line
That trails out to sea
Give me a plane ride
A quick flip to the B-side
A ticket to free

Give me a rain-storm
Give me some heat
Give me one month
Only one month

Just one lone blank page
To write me from scratch
To explore, je t’adore
Only one month
Just this one month
I will never need more


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After


The Mother Club

This week has seen the invention of another new word in our household …

Haribwoe –
noun: The guilt and self-loathing one feels having eaten too many sweets, resulting from no children having knocked on your door at Halloween, necessitating a frantic consumption of said sweets to do away with the evidence that you ever bought them in the first place.

I can imagine the conversation amongst the neighbouring parents as they took their little people up and down the street “Oh no, they don’t have children, we’ll leave them in peace”. Imagining that this is the sentiment (unless we have other issues with our neighbours that we are unaware of) I can appreciate their consideration. However, it is just one of many little reminders throughout the year that we are on the outside of a club. The biggest, most natural club in the world.Read More »

So What, You Just Sit There?

So what, you just sit there?
That is correct
But why?
How do you mean?

It is a bit like being a self-drive electric car
That goes in to this room once a week
To plug into the mains and get charged back up

And what does the energy give you
Don’t you have that already?
I do. But I use it up
I get tired
It needs topping up
By just sitting?
By just sitting

But what do you do?
You don’t ‘Do’
You just ‘Be’

What do you think about?
The idea is to step back from your thoughts
Well how on earth do you do that?
By observing them with warm curiosity
And then letting them continue on their way
Like waves that you choose not to surf

That sounds too hard
Well, it isn’t easy

What does the energy feel like?
But not just mine
A mutual fizz
That everyone in the room is party to
A person could see it effervesce on the building’s exterior walls
If they only had the eyes to know how to look

That all sounds weird
It is a little odd that is true

So you just sit?
Don’t you get fidgety?
So what do you do then?
Don’t fidget
It is one of the disciplines
To look at what comes up with curiosity
And then let it move on past
I couldn’t do it
You’d be surprised

But what is the point?
Couldn’t you get that from something else?
Maybe exercise?
Perhaps, to a point
Slightly different sorts of energy though

How so?
This is not just that blue sort of energy
That you feel in your body, in your muscles
No? Then what else?
Green energy
Why green?
I don’t know
Is it always green?
Then why green today?
Because today it was green

So how do you feel once you’ve done it?
Is that it?
Not entirely
Yes, but also to all things outside
All things?
Yes, all people
All structures
All natural features

That sounds quite nice
It is the essence of quite niceness
From just sitting
And breathing
And being

Hmmm …

It’s still a bit of an odd thing to do though right?
Yes, it is a bit unusual

I still don’t think I could do it
Nobody does
Until they are doing it

Hmmm …

So, green you say?

Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After