Sunshine Seat

I found this poem recently that spoke to me of a particular time, a particular place and a story not yet told. A place I encountered and instantly knew was one of the ‘Thin Places’

A place that turned me into a Catherine wheel. And, though fireworks will always burn themselves out, as is their very nature, they leave their colours in your soul, to take with you when you are elsewhere, and fireworks aren’t appropriate.

And while that untold story is being formed, I leave you with a view of this sunshine seat. Your own may be anywhere, you may not have visited yet – but you’ll know it when you arrive.


On sunshine seat we find our feet
and get to feel the heat of love,
the numb warms up and the frozen leaves
for this seat wakes the sleeping buds;
it wakes them all, the big and small
the fearful and the tightly closed,
on sunshine seat we greet the heat
and open, like the thankful rose.

The clouds go by, we hear a sigh
coming from our weary hearts,
and sense a change, a flaming wave
of quite delightful charming sparks,
that turn us into catherine wheels
fizzing through the shifting hours,
on sunshine seat we’re strong, not weak
we see us as the great empowered.

On sunshine seat the word ‘defeat’
is not a word that’s ever heard,
but ‘gorgeous’ is, along with ‘bliss’
and the views go far beyond superb,
for sunshine seat sits on the cliffs
looking out at sea and sky,
and all souls leap on this old seat
for it always takes the spirit high.

~ Andrew Hobbs


 · Forty and Everything After 2018 · Poem by Andrew Hobbs  · Artist Unknown



The Gold In The Gaps

So we’ve seen some breakage
There are cracks in these jars
We have inflicted some on each other
Water seeped from those scars
We watched solemnly as it ebbed away
Fearing it may never again flow
But that water, it was stagnant
And we had to let it go

We are now filling those gaps with gold
Where would we have fitted it before?
If we hadn’t given in to those holes
We had choices to make in those chinks
We might have crumbled to dust
We almost did
But instead we chose to let the sun light through
And now we are capturing gold from the dew

Yes, there may still be drafts we cannot resolve
But that air brings with it oxygen
And we had to learn to breath again
These bowls have seen much harm
Dropped from sad and weary arms
Those shards we once watched fall
Let us take them up and gild them
And with those same arms now rebuild them

What porcelain person was ever not made more whole
When they finally acknowledge there are flaws in their bowl
They are fragile and imperfect and require careful carriage
We now witness new strength in this clay and gold marriage
As integrity returns to this broken vessel’s form
We can clear up the debris from the retreating storm
And this crazing in our glazing marks our journeys’ map
As we honour the strength of this gold in our gaps


Copyright © 2018 · Forty and Everything After


A Beautiful Déjà Vu

The man said breathe
And so I breathed
And she was next to me
And she breathed too
And suddenly there was only us there
Just the two of us

And then it came to me
We have done this before
Long ago
You and I
When we occupied one space
One body
Shared the same air
You and I

And in that moment
We are connected again
That bond that begins all else
And I feel safe and whole again
And I know, in that moment
From whom I learned how to breathe
I find it too hard to bear
That one day I must do this without you

But for now
I place my stockinged foot on yours
And we share a secret smile
And we will breathe together
Until we must find another way
To connect
Through a different medium
But for now, let us sit and let us breathe


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After


Just One Month

Give me a rainforest
Give me a boat
Give me some space
A wide-open face
Afloat, afloat

Give me a month
I don’t need a year
Just a light golden thread
A soft place for my head
And a route that’s unclear

Give me a mountain
A beach, a beach
Give me some distance
This insistent insistence
Only just out of reach

Give me a life-line
That trails out to sea
Give me a plane ride
A quick flip to the B-side
A ticket to free

Give me a rain-storm
Give me some heat
Give me one month
Only one month

Just one lone blank page
To write me from scratch
To explore, je t’adore
Only one month
Just this one month
I will never need more


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After


Hello Again

A phalanx of phantoms parade
Striding through sleep and through song
Though tongues may stay silent on all that once passed
Hearts echo chambers of all that went wrong

A flash between eyes says …
I know. I remember
One side wells while the other looks elsewhere
But the juvenile heart bears the scars of dismember
Though it long learned to feign “I don’t care”

A dream jolts awake with a pain long forgotten
A taste in the mouth taunts the mind without steer
Blonde bravado, “Hello again. It is so good to see you”
Stomach pitches, but we’ll not gift our fear

Not again. Too many bridges
No my friend. Too many tears
How those sutures rip open with not one moment’s notice
Never healed, never heard, too few years

Pride blossoms at how far I’ve journeyed
Shame spores at the wounds acquiesced
I can stand here and eyeball you finally
Take my past, but you’ll not take my best


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After


August, Again

The weird energy of August abounds
Plagued by troubling dreams
Of past and petulant ghosts
Uncertainty and ugliness
Betrayal and bungling
Of illusory lions and loss
And out-dated obsessions
Of abuse and anger
Sadness and shame
Images of horror
Malformed from memories

Nights haunt her awake
Thoughts twined tight and tense
This lioness now can sense
All the power it will take
But with claws ripped away
Long ago from her paw
Will she now bare her teeth?
Is she ready to roar?
Protect herself ?
As she couldn’t or wouldn’t before

With eclipse swift on its way
Transmissions amplify with days
If she can only hold the line
Stand brave, build bold, stay kind
With gentleness, with strength
With truth, with upright intent
The energy doesn’t have to blaze
If she can harness it, own it, form it
With mindful care, for the greater good
This is her time for ‘Should’
If but she would


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After