A Beautiful Déjà Vu

The man said breathe
And so I breathed
And she was next to me
And she breathed too
And suddenly there was only us there
Just the two of us
Together
Breathing

And then it came to me
We have done this before
Long ago
You and I
When we occupied one space
One body
Breathed the same breath
You and I

And in that moment
We are connected again
That bond that begins all else
And I feel safe and whole again
And I know, in that moment
From whom I learned how to breathe
I find it too hard to bear
That one day I must do this without you

But for now
I place my stockinged foot on yours
And we share a secret smile
And we will breathe together
Until we must find another way
To connect
Through a different medium
But for now, let us sit and let us breathe

 


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After

 

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Just One Month

Give me a rainforest
Give me a boat
Give me some space
A wide-open face
Afloat, afloat

Give me a month
I don’t need a year
Just a light golden thread
A soft place for my head
And a route that’s unclear

Give me a mountain
A beach, a beach
Give me some distance
This insistent insistence
Only just out of reach

Give me a life-line
That trails out to sea
Give me a plane ride
A quick flip to the B-side
A ticket to free

Give me a rain-storm
Give me some heat
Give me one month
Only one month
Retreat
Repeat

Just one lone blank page
To write me from scratch
To explore, je t’adore
Only one month
Just this one month
I will never need more

 


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After

 

Hello Again

A phalanx of phantoms parade
Striding through sleep and through song
Though tongues may stay silent on all that once passed
Hearts echo chambers of all that went wrong

A flash between eyes says …
I know. I remember
One side wells while the other looks elsewhere
But the juvenile heart bears the scars of dismember
Though it long learned to feign “I don’t care”

A dream jolts awake with a pain long forgotten
A taste in the mouth taunts the mind without steer
Blonde bravado, “Hello again. It is so good to see you”
Stomach pitches, but we’ll not gift our fear

Not again. Too many bridges
No my friend. Too many tears
How those sutures rip open with not one moment’s notice
Never healed, never heard, too few years

Pride blossoms at how far I’ve journeyed
Shame spores at the wounds acquiesced
I can stand here and eyeball you finally
Take my past, but you’ll not take my best

 


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After

 

August, Again

The weird energy of August abounds
Plagued by troubling dreams
Of past and petulant ghosts
Uncertainty and ugliness
Betrayal and bungling
Of illusory lions and loss
And out-dated obsessions
Of abuse and anger
Sadness and shame
Images of horror
Malformed from memories

Nights haunt her awake
Thoughts twined tight and tense
This lioness now can sense
All the power it will take
But with claws ripped away
Long ago from her paw
Will she now bare her teeth?
Is she ready to roar?
Protect herself ?
As she couldn’t or wouldn’t before

With eclipse swift on its way
Transmissions amplify with days
If she can only hold the line
Stand brave, build bold, stay kind
With gentleness, with strength
With truth, with upright intent
The energy doesn’t have to blaze
If she can harness it, own it, form it
With mindful care, for the greater good
This is her time for ‘Should’
If but she would

 


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After

What Would It Take To Be Humbled By Stars?

There is our very own stuff
And that may feel huge on any given day
In our hearts we feel the leaden weights
Of all that troubles
Of all that saddens
Whilst occasional sun infiltrates and warms

And then there is the big stuff
The too big for us to wrap our arms around stuff
The too scary to come out from behind our fingers for stuff
But some people do
And thank God for those people

And then there are the stars
And then there is the moon
And all of our stuff is just so utterly irrelevant
Beneath those stars, who have seen it all
What must they think of our earthly lunacy?
They must shake their sparkly heads in despair

I despair
Some days I just can’t believe what I see through my fingers
Most days I truly give thanks for my stuff
My own tiny, little leaden weights
That make more sense than the enormity of things I cannot bear to peek at
Why must we invent new and dangerous and heartbreaking stuff to fill the void?
When the void was always, and will always be filled with those beautiful stars

They were our beginning, and may well prove our end
What will it take to be humbled by the stars?

 


Copyright © 2017 · Forty and Everything After

Build To Build Up, Don’t Build To Keep Down

Denied or destroyed for those who need them most
Created by those who should learn to look beyond
Not all walls contain within welcoming host
No safe haven given, no warmth in their bond

Built high as a punishment for those of misdeed
Built in vain if you think they’ll curb evil’s intent
Invented for security, not brutality, not greed
Barriers to freedom and compassion not meant

Tricked into our own versions, in our minds, in our hearts
But fake mortar surely crumbles witnessing tragedy’s parade
To shore us up, not break others down, or keep the world apart
Safety from passing storms, from nature’s thorns, is why they should be made

Those built with hatred between their stones will in their structure fail
Strength temporary, but fatally flawed, will crack under love’s weight
Those built with heart, with open doors, to ease our human trail
Will build the world up, will keep our heads up. This is how we will prevail

Build them up gently for our comrades who most need them
Dismantle them gently for our kin trapped in their square
Their falling is a gift for brothers and sisters seeking freedom
We will step beyond our own and find peace with you all there.

 


Copyright © 2017 · Words & Images · Forty and Everything After