Lessons Learned Log: My mind is not a sausage machine

Some of the best advice I was ever given was by a friend of mine who knew I was wrestling with a particular problem, and making myself sick trying to force the answer to emerge. She bought me a greeting card and gave it to me, a few days before I took myself off on my first ever silent retreat, to try and figure out what on earth I was going to do next with my life.

The card shared the following words from Rainer Maria Rilke:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves”

These words (taken from a letter written by Rilke in 1903) continued ….Read More »

Meditation Doesn’t Just Happen In The Meditation Room

Guest post originally written for BayArt.Org

I recently started going to a meditation group. Having attended an 8-week Mindfulness Course in the past, and then subsequently sought out a weekly Mindful Yoga group at my local Buddhist Centre, I knew that these activities had the potential to have me floating around in the world (at least for an afternoon) in a serene, compassionate and appreciative state. I was very disappointed when my Mindful Yoga class was discontinued, as I knew it did me good. And, at a time when I was recovering from depression, it was helpful to have this positive space in my week that I felt motivated enough to get out from under the blanket for.Read More »

She Let Go

I came across this beautiful poem very recently. It spoke to me, of all the things that I have experienced in life, how they have affected me, how I have clung to those feelings, good and bad. How I have been fearful of letting go of bitter pain, stepping away from aching sadness, or accepting into my hands small joys. How we cloak ourselves in our stories and forget we can take those cloaks off.

But one day, not so long ago, I realised it can be done, not only that, but I had been doing it all along, and I hadn’t seen it happening
– until I remembered ‘that time’, or thought about ‘that person’.

It isn’t easy, but it is necessary
– if we are to find peace, to accept joy, to release pain.

I let go.Read More »

My Anxiety Anniversary – Part 2

Ah, Anxiety, Welcome! Can I take your coat? Depression is already here


On return from my holiday, I went directly to the doctor, terrified that the panic attacks were going to continue. The feelings I had been battling were most objectionable and I knew I couldn’t continue to feel this way without it culminating in something dreadful. The one doctor I could get an appointment with (not my usual doctor) was not terribly sympathetic, but gave me a one-week supply of pills to take in an emergency if it happened again.

It did happen again. Read More »